Sorry this is so late! Its been a busy month, but trust me I couldn't forget this day even if I wanted to. (which I don't!) I started the day as usual: I walked in the room about five minutes early and just hung out until class started, then Mrs. Smith gave out instructions and then I was to work with Bill. The only problem here was that Bill didn't want to work with me today. I was so disappointed because I though after he had said thank you that we were starting to build a relationship and maybe we would start to talk about things other than school, but I guess I was wrong. Because Bill didn't want to work with me I started working with *Brittney. She was open to me being her tutor and we just started on the work.
The assignment was to answer questions that related to the book that they were getting ready to read. The questions included: "Are killing and murder the same thing?" and "Should a person's childhood be put into consideration when sentencing?" I thought the questions were telling about the person who answered them. Brittney did not think that killing and murder were the same and thought that someone's childhood should be put into consideration when sentencing. I agreed with her answers, not that that matters, and I found that interesting. Before I could continue to work with Brittney, Mrs. Smith came over and told me that Bill did want to work with me. I was shocked but excited that he had changed his mind. When I went over to help him he was just staring at the computer not doing anything. He pulled up the assignment and continued to just stare at the screen. He then went to the bathroom for a while. Mrs. Smith told me to start the sentences for him so that when he got back he could just answer the question. I didn't really understand how that would help him, but I did it anyway. When he came back he slowly but surely started to answer the questions. His answers stuck with me because they were not what I was expecting. He said that he though that murder and killing were the same because a life was lost in both. He did not think that childhood should be taken into consideration when sentencing. These answers showed me that he believes in will power to an extent because he didn't want to account for childhood experiences. He then had to watch two youtube videos that the teacher had chosen and by the time that was done the class was over.
After class I talked to Mrs. Smith because I wanted to ask her how she wanted me to deal with Bill when he just stared at the screen or put his head down. I told her I am not supposed to act as the teacher or counselor and that I was there purely to tutor and help any way I can. She then told me that with Bill I need to be the teacher to an extent. She said that I will have to constantly push him to do the work and even start things for him and then have him finish the work. Then she preceded to tell me that Bill had asked for me to come over which meant a lot. She told me that him wanting me to tutor him meant that he valued our relationship even if he never opens up to me or shows interest in me while I am there.
This really stuck with me. It made me realize that people do not have to outwardly express their feelings in order to have them. Bill does not have to tell me that he likes having me as a tutor or tell me about his home life to show that he likes me. I am a very expressive person so realizing this made me think about how I cannot expect everyone to express feelings like I do, and when they don't to not get my feelings hurt.
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